Forgiveness w Boundaries

Grief is complicated- no surprise there. And everyone processes their grief differently- again, duh.

But what about when the different people with the different processing all need to accomplish a mutual goal... like planning the way to honor the person who died?

It's complicated times a lot.

And what if while planning the complicated suddenly the shitty feelings all boil over & out as anger, resentment & attack towards one another?

Now we're in chaos, pain & meltdown. Three terribly uncomfortable states. 🤯😡

So we pause & breathe & do those both a million times more.

We go get comfort. We literally say to our best supporter - I'm hurting, I need you to hold me on the couch with the soft blanket & tell me it's all gonna be ok. (And yes it's ok if your supporter falls asleep.)

Then we get curious. We talk to those that have traveled grief & learn mad feels easier than sad. Mad gets energy out, sad typically requires holding energetic space inside. We possibilitate (it should be a word) the desperate need for a little piece of 'insignificant' control when our world has suddenly been shattered.

We recognize the different Adolescent👺 Chair🪑protections popping up. Ahhh those are best met with an Adult 👩🏼.

We get clear on what peace looks like for ourselves & how best to get there. For me that means forgiving with intentional boundaries.

When I know an animal bites, I stop reaching out my bare hand. And also I know that creature is scared, navigating a grueling journey & my judgment serves no one.

It's NOT ok to sink to such a negative low & throw out aimed daggers. And I hope on the day I sadly function from a similar level someone will give me grace. 🤍

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